When the Shoe Doesn’t Fit

The same day I was walking and contemplating the meaning of my finding pennies in the street, I also started thinking about the different injuries I had to both of my feet.  Injuries that I thought were just bad luck, I now see as the consequences of choices I made.  Granted, I thought I was making good, reasonable choices for me in my life at the time.  I am intelligent and aware of my body and bank account so why would finding a less expensive, known-for-good-quality walking shoe, that might deviate slightly from what I was wearing, cause me so much trouble?  It’s because my body and some shoes do not fit each other!  So, what did I do to compensate? I changed my body to fit the shoe and that was a problem.  Instead of acknowledging I must have the right fit for my greatest and highest good, I worried more about how much money I spent and now might waste on shoes. This resulted in plantar fasciitis in my left foot and a gouging of flesh over my right Achilles tendon and walking in pain or not walking at all. I purchased bandages, arch inserts, plantar fasciitis support bands and different socks to compensate.  So much for saving money on the shoes!

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My understanding of having the right tool for a job started young, but along the way there was often a substitute that helped get the job done.  The result may not have been as pretty or perfect as it could have been, but a task was completed well enough.  Resourcefulness is good but might come at a price.  My chiropractor in Richmond, VA, Dr. Nicholas Rulli (best practitioner EVER, by the way!), was the first person who suggested the idea of going to a local running shoe store, getting fitted properly and then buying the same model on-line in the future to save money.  I got on board with that idea and was very glad.  It served me well and I saved money.  Then, I couldn’t find my model! I stayed within the same brand and got the newer model and did fine, but then the prices were still way up.  I noticed that the website I was ordering from had specifications you could use to filter the results of the shoes offered.  I played around and found the filter settings that would bring up my good shoes and started to buy other, less expensive shoes that came up in that filter result.

This worked great for a while and then I noticed that when I made slight changes to the specifications to find a less expensive shoe, the wear on the shoe and on my skin over my Achilles tendon was indicating a problem.  I kept getting blisters in the same spot on my right heel and the inside of the shoe in relationship to that spot was wearing out into a hole in the collar of the shoe. Amazingly it was only the right foot to which this was constantly happening.  The left foot was fine.  Another thing I noted was that my muscles in my legs, rear-end and lower back reacted to the changes in the shoes, sometimes unfavorably.  This is how I finally developed plantar fasciitis after six (6) years of this buying practice.  I recognized that in my life, I am constantly changing myself to fit circumstances.

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(Blood on the left shoe.  In the crease of the collar, a hole was forming.  These shoes were only a week old.)

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(Right heel missing a chunk of skin.)

I questioned further, is changing yourself always bad?  I recall one of my sisters telling me that I changed every time I met a new guy when I was dating.  I understood what she was saying.  She was suggesting that I was changing for them.  What I know is that different people bring different experiences to us.  In one relationship, I recall that I was at a time in my life that I could not understand how anyone could sit in front of a television and watch a game for three hours. Then, I met the Philadelphia Phillies in 2011.  If you know the Phillies, you know this was a fantastic year for them.  I saw great athleticism and a winning team make it to the National League East Division Championship and that darn squirrel in St. Louis helped take them out of the running to the World Series. (But I digress… lol) You would also know that they haven’t had such great years since the changes that were made in the team.  Kind of sucks, but I hold faith they will grow into a winning team again!  Now, what my sister might have correctly seen was that my fanaticism for this team was because of a guy. What I know is that I expressed an interest in something new in the hopes of finding something in common and I did.  I did not change myself.  I opened myself up to a new experience and found that I am a baseball fan!  Not only do I enjoy a good game on the television, I like going to the games in person and experiencing the fans and teams live!  The only thing I can give the guy credit for, in this instance, is the team association.  But what a team to watch that year!

Other than the shoes, a way that change was not good for me was allowing myself to gain an extraordinary amount of weight because I was eating my emotions and although my husband said he loved me as I was, he did not care to join me in the understanding of how unhealthy a life we were living.  The idea of “don’t stress about it because I love you as you are” was not a good idea to practice.  What strikes me now is that he was gaining, and it was all reflected in the hoarding practice he had in the house.  I started exhibiting his depression, pain, lack of caring and lack of self-confidence and increase in need for material and food satisfaction.  This was something I slid easily into not knowing that I was doing something so astoundingly bad for my spiritual, physical and mental health.  I continue to work on correcting these ideas and although I have gained some weight back, I know what I need to do to retain and grow in my spiritual, mental and physical health.  I recognize I must care for and pay attention to my spiritual needs and congruently my physical and mental health.  When I do this, I am working with God for my highest good.

I was introduced to the Law of Attraction through the following books:  Think and Grow Rich (1937) by Napoleon Hill, You Can Heal Your Life (1984) by Louise Hay and The Secret (2006) by Rhonda Byrne. If I want to have abundance, I cannot live my life worrying about it.  I need to live as if I am already in it.  Not living in this manner caused me to spend too much money to fit in bad shoes, injury and a denial that God was already offering me abundance in my life.  Focusing on correcting what I thought was the negative was bringing me the true negative.  Focusing now that I am in alignment and positively seeing abundance is putting me in line with abundance. Since I made the change, I am healing from my injuries and do not worry about my bank account, granted I am not running around spending money willy-nilly, but I have enough to pay my bills, debt and have fun from time to time.

So, what did I do to divert and get my feet on the correct course?  What we all should do, I sought out an expert in the matter.  I went to Fleet Feet Sports here in Wilmington, NC and met Tricia Dell-Weber.  I took two (2) pairs of my problem shoes, told her that I knew intuitively that my right ankle had to be smaller than my left and that I am avoiding giving myself the best possible results because I am cheating myself away from them by buying shoes that don’t fit and are not supporting me.  She was in agreement, kind and informative.  Not too much sales push, but a genuine care to help me with the issue and in turn relieve my frustration.  I left with a confirmation that my right foot was different than my left (Not surprising because I know we are not completely symmetrical.) and spending over $200.00.  But, I had LiquiCell Blister Bands (so I could keep walking), great shoes and socks, the correct arch insert, a new way to tie my shoes, a piece of massage equipment to help release the tension of the leg and foot muscles to ease the stretch of the plantar fasciitis and an awesome pair of OOFOS flip flops.  The last item being genuine footwear for plantar fasciitis recovery.  They work so well that I bought two more pairs. Via e-mail I received a really cool picture of the mapping of my feet.  I now have the support and care I need to help take care of me, so I can continue walking my meditation time in comfort and I can keep up with my daily exercise.

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Now I apply this further and recognize how many times I or we force ourselves to conform to an idea that does not support our highest good:

  • I stayed in a job at which I was miserable.
  • I stayed in a relationship because of vows, but also because it was better than being alone.
  • Some folks force themselves to attend churches that don’t support their belief system. I have been grateful to find great communities that support me.
  • We have taken on diets because of self-dissatisfaction, only to find the diets themselves were not healthy or supportive of our unique chemistries.
  • Often, we allow doctors to determine our health care needs, goals and cures without listening to our bodies and doing intuitively what we know we need to do. I have changed this mindset and have become my own advocate.
  • When times get tough, we can choose to continue following paths that seem easy but end up bringing our spirits, minds and bodies into dis-ease so that we experience disease. It’s often easier to keep on the wrong path sometimes than do the work to get us back on the right one.

Instead of diverting from the path of reaching our highest good and what God has planned for us, let us instead choose to flow with ease in the path God placed before us at our birth.  Stagnation and reversal of our nature is not recognizing the abundance and our perfect path for our lifetime.  If we don’t know, or are unsure, there are people around us, teachers, mentors, guides, health and counseling professionals that can help us ease onto or back onto our paths.  It doesn’t have to be a mystery.  Instead of being in fear that we can’t afford to spend money so that it will help us, know that spending time asking/praying, meditating and moving with the flow of life, even if it seems odd, will generally set you back on your path of ease with the knowledge that the money part is in God’s control. You will follow the path of abundance of good health and spirituality that was set before you came to this earth.  The path along which God sent you.  Work smarter, not harder, and hear the messages of and understand the teachings of your lessons so you can set your sights on reaping the abundance you sow with your actions and intentions.

With Gratitude and Many Blessings to you and yours!

Devi

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